A Guide to Reframing and Releasing PMDD (free extract of my zine and why I changed the title)
Dear reader,
You might be aware that I’ve been working on a zine about my journey with PMDD, and I’m so excited to say that it’s nearly here. My best friend and I have been proofreading it together and this week I’m going to look at the paper I’d like the physical copies to be printed on. I can’t believe it’s this close to being out in the world and meeting the people who need it.
After years of struggling with PMDD and gradually finding relief I desperately wanted to create something that would help other people, because the conversation is still so sparse and one dimensional.
But as I was putting the zine together I realised the original title didn’t fit. It wasn’t conveying my perspective or recognising the fact that each person’s experience of PMDD and their cycle is unique to them. So, I changed it.
The title may not mean much to anyone else, but it matters to me deeply and I want to be transparent about my thought process.
I spent some time feeling off about the title and then I spent some more time wondering whether this was coming from a history of people-pleasing, but I can confidently say the nagging feeling was coming from a place of inner knowing. I knew it wasn’t right and I knew that I owed it to my readers and myself to do this project justice.
So, instead of ‘How to Recover from PMDD Holistically’, the zine is now titled ‘A Guide to Reframing and Releasing PMDD: Practising Moments of Deliberate De-shaming’.
At the core of this decision is my belief that PMDD and recovery are two deeply nuanced things. I hated the fact that the previous title could so easily be misunderstood as a one size fits all approach or a set of instructions when that is not my intention at all, a ‘guide’ feels much more in tune with how I’m offering my thoughts. I also feel that the words ‘reframing, releasing and de-shaming’ help to convey the fact that I’m approaching this conversation with deep compassion and cultural awareness.
In this zine I’m effectively saying “here is an alternative to the current conversation and here are the things that have worked for me. Let’s explore some principles and practises together - see what you think, pick them up, put them down, and use them as a launch pad to develop your own.”
People who are experiencing PMDD deserve to be met in their unique circumstances with a sense of validation, kindness and encouragement, and that is what I intend to do with this resource.
I’ve included the introduction below as a taste of what’s to come. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
If you’re keen to have a physical copy rather than the digital version, you can grab your copy here for the next 48 hours at the early bird price (£17.85 including postage). At 6pm on Thursday 10th July the price increases to £21 plus postage.
Free extract from A Guide to Reframing and Releasing PMDD: Practising Moments of Deliberate De-shaming
My Letter to You
If you long for a calmer relationship to your cycle, your life and the people around you, this book is for you. Maybe you’ve tried everything and still feel stuck, or maybe you’re tired of looking for that one thing that will make it all go away. I was experiencing PMDD for years and I know how terrifying things can feel; one day it’s like an internal switch has abruptly been flipped and everything feels dark, every month you’re inches away from blowing your life up and nothing feels right.
I was desperate to find that one thing, a pill, supplement or person that would put a stop to all the big emotions that suddenly came up in the second half of my cycle. I felt trapped by the sheer weight of anger, intrusive thoughts, confusion, blame, and shame, all of which kept me in a loop of doom that felt impossible to break. I tried everything I could to ‘fix’ myself but found it to be futile, because attempting to suppress strong feelings or remove parts of who we are is like trying to erase an entire season from nature.
Gradually I started to untangle myself and find a new way of relating to myself. Bit by bit I felt glimmers of a different life that could be more supportive and fulfilling. Eventually I stopped experiencing PMDD and that’s why I’m writing to you now, because I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be like this forever, there is hope and there is agency. Despite what you might have read or heard so far, recovering from Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) isn’t about ‘hacking’ your cycle in order to be a more productive or palatable person, it’s about liberating yourself from the myth that you and your cycle are a problem to be fixed, allowing the suppressed parts of you to be heard, and building a new inner foundation of inherent worthiness, brick by brick. For me, quick fixes resulted in nothing more than noise, anxiety and wasted money, the big shifts came from creating an entirely new relationship with my cycle and myself.
It is important to note that you have the right to define what recovery looks like for you. For me, recovery has been about reducing my distress and accommodating my differences rather than conforming to societal norms. When I say ‘recovery’ I am not talking about eliminating strong emotions, challenging experiences and hormonal shifts - this is an unattainable and harmful goal that will not support you - I’m talking about being able to experience these things without spiralling into shame and terror. I am proposing that we relate to the luteal phase in an entirely different way, with acceptance and meaning-making, because that is how I was able to release PMDD.
My approach is a blend of practical tools, ideological shifts, self expression and a sustained connection to your deep self because these are the things that changed everything for me, and I want this for you too. My personal experience of being on the other side of PMDD is that I am able to relate to the second half of my cycle with respect rather than shame or suppression. Each month I feel the shift and I am prepared for the authority that rises within me, safe in the knowledge that there is power and insight here for me if I am willing to listen.
I like to think of each person’s journey as a unique tapestry with multiple forms of support, eg. somatic work, nutrition, counselling, community, medication etc. This book is designed to expose old narratives that keep us trapped and provide new principles and practises that will help your tapestry of support to come together in a meaningful way. I am a lived experience writer, artist, and certified menstrual mentor, and the pages of this book are based around my own practises as someone who has been in the depths of PMDD and now stands on the other side with my hand outstretched in your direction.
Thank you for being here and supporting my work, I really appreciate it.
Speak soon,
S x
Wow this was my first time on your page and that was amazing to read ! I felt seen and overjoyed that women within the PMDD are shifting the narrative around pmdd and how to approach it. Thank you for this.
I completely resonate with the idea of shifting the focus of your title…language is so important for unlocking healing. My last post touches on this topic too…specifically discussing the luteal phase. Like minds an all that! So lovely to see so many out there taking control of their narrative!