Sophie, how do you always manage to articulate my experience so perfectly? This was fantastic! I'm really trying to get better at giving myself permission to listen to what my body and mind need. It’s easier said than done after years of believing that we had to live a certain way to be worthy. So glad you liked the shaking advice! It's ridiculous but actually works haha.
Aww I love that, Emma. It’s wonderful to know when my words strike a chord & that we’re not alone - thank you for telling me. You’ve hit the nail on the head, it’s the combination of listening & permission - it’s tough but it starts to feel kind of good, right? Amongst the fear there’s also a sense of pride in laying down a new path.
I love the idea of working out which part of the tank is empty; emotion, energy or creativity. I too find movement can be helpful in regulating me or generating energy for stuff I want to do. One of the things that helped me get off the burnout cycle was to explore the messages I received about rest or pottering aimlessly when I was younger… they were all messages about being lazy, so massive guilt was attached to not doing much.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Andrea, that’s such a good point about the old stories swimming around in our mind. They’re so influential (and unhelpful!) - definitely an important piece of the puzzle to look at.
Oh, I feel this. I so needed this post today. I've been heading towards burnout and ignoring all the signs, and finally crashed out this weekend. I relate so much to everything you've said, even though I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (and it's not something I'm convinced I have to a 'clinical' level). Pushing through activities and socialising that are making me feel worse has been a big feature of my life recently. And then once full on burnout hit, trying to rest by doing nothing, and getting so restless and frustrated, and not at all relaxed or recovered. Today I took a long walk in the woods, and that was the best relaxation I've had in a long time - it just took the realisation about what kind of exhausted I was. What I need is withdrawal from people and expectations (I'm also on day 29 of my cycle, and feeling strongly the need for separation). Time in nature. Giving myself permission not to be doing anything 'useful'. It's been difficult, and your post brings me validation and support. Thank you :)
I’m feeling a big ‘yes’ to your acknowledgment of separating just before bleeding, it’s so important to heed that call in whatever way we can manage isn’t it. A walk in the woods is a great idea, there’s nothing like tuning into all the natural sounds, sights & smells when we’re nearing our inner winter or feel totally depleted. I’m so glad you feel validated & supported here, Helen, that’s what it’s all about.
The "nonsensical and nasty belief that if I can’t do the thing I’m supposed to be doing, then I don’t deserve to do the thing I want/need to be doing."
That is so exactly it, Sophie… I feel like not being able to do what I wanted until I did what I was supposed to was a rule I was given as a child, and that is so exactly not how my AuDHD brain works but so hard to shake, even after recognizing it, because it's ingrained in my habits in so many ways 😑
So good to hear you can relate, Ann, the process of undoing is such an ongoing practise isn’t it. Aww how lovely to know that you lived in Edinburgh & are finding connection to it here. Thank you for sharing that with me!
Sophie, how do you always manage to articulate my experience so perfectly? This was fantastic! I'm really trying to get better at giving myself permission to listen to what my body and mind need. It’s easier said than done after years of believing that we had to live a certain way to be worthy. So glad you liked the shaking advice! It's ridiculous but actually works haha.
Aww I love that, Emma. It’s wonderful to know when my words strike a chord & that we’re not alone - thank you for telling me. You’ve hit the nail on the head, it’s the combination of listening & permission - it’s tough but it starts to feel kind of good, right? Amongst the fear there’s also a sense of pride in laying down a new path.
I love the idea of working out which part of the tank is empty; emotion, energy or creativity. I too find movement can be helpful in regulating me or generating energy for stuff I want to do. One of the things that helped me get off the burnout cycle was to explore the messages I received about rest or pottering aimlessly when I was younger… they were all messages about being lazy, so massive guilt was attached to not doing much.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Andrea, that’s such a good point about the old stories swimming around in our mind. They’re so influential (and unhelpful!) - definitely an important piece of the puzzle to look at.
Oh, I feel this. I so needed this post today. I've been heading towards burnout and ignoring all the signs, and finally crashed out this weekend. I relate so much to everything you've said, even though I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (and it's not something I'm convinced I have to a 'clinical' level). Pushing through activities and socialising that are making me feel worse has been a big feature of my life recently. And then once full on burnout hit, trying to rest by doing nothing, and getting so restless and frustrated, and not at all relaxed or recovered. Today I took a long walk in the woods, and that was the best relaxation I've had in a long time - it just took the realisation about what kind of exhausted I was. What I need is withdrawal from people and expectations (I'm also on day 29 of my cycle, and feeling strongly the need for separation). Time in nature. Giving myself permission not to be doing anything 'useful'. It's been difficult, and your post brings me validation and support. Thank you :)
I’m feeling a big ‘yes’ to your acknowledgment of separating just before bleeding, it’s so important to heed that call in whatever way we can manage isn’t it. A walk in the woods is a great idea, there’s nothing like tuning into all the natural sounds, sights & smells when we’re nearing our inner winter or feel totally depleted. I’m so glad you feel validated & supported here, Helen, that’s what it’s all about.
Thus is super helpful thanks Sophie fir writing this
The "nonsensical and nasty belief that if I can’t do the thing I’m supposed to be doing, then I don’t deserve to do the thing I want/need to be doing."
That is so exactly it, Sophie… I feel like not being able to do what I wanted until I did what I was supposed to was a rule I was given as a child, and that is so exactly not how my AuDHD brain works but so hard to shake, even after recognizing it, because it's ingrained in my habits in so many ways 😑
ps - I love hearing about Edinburgh in your posts - I loved living there so much, and your words help bring me back there 🌿🏵️
So good to hear you can relate, Ann, the process of undoing is such an ongoing practise isn’t it. Aww how lovely to know that you lived in Edinburgh & are finding connection to it here. Thank you for sharing that with me!